YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
