Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize