your thong is hanging out like whoa
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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