Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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