she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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