If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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