Me too!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
