The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
