doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
