he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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