Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
