At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
