I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
