Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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