Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
