I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
