i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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