I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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