i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
