We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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