morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize