I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize