would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
