i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize