If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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