I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
