I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Enjoy the penises
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
