What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
