I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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