Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
