I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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