I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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