direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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