Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
