she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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