angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
