I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
