How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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