she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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