True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
