do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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