thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
