But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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