my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
