So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
