I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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