so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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