so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
