It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
