I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
