**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize