Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
