Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Enjoy the penises
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
