we're blogging at a bar
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Come see our sink grown plant.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
