'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
