he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
