i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize