I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
