I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
