Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
