I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
