and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize